What's an emotional F-bomb?

Tamara Charles likes to swear.

"I'm just being my authentic self," said the author of the new book on forgiveness and healing called Nitanis with a laugh.

"I'm definitely into spirituality, but you can be spiritual and still drop the F-bomb."

Charles, 49, so identifies with the contradiction that she's called her healing workshops, public speaking and social media company Spiritual F Bombs and her website is www.spiritualfbombs.com.

With that in mind, Charles has also written three books -- the latest, Nitanis, is the story of her shitty relationship with her mom and her journey of hatred, grief, forgiveness and healing.

Charles will be at Indigo at Orchard Park mall in Kelowna tomorrow (Saturday) from 11 am to 4 pm to chat with people and sign copies of the $20, 166-page book.

Charles lives in Edmonton, but her connection to Kelowna is that she lived here when she was a sports reporter at the Kelowna Daily Courier from 1997-99.

"At the time, I was starting over and chasing a dream of being one of the only female sports writers at a daily newspaper in Canada," remembered Charles.

"Outwardly I was fearless and ambitious. But, inwardly I was struggling and dealing with a lot of demons and darkness."

Charles' mom paid her a surprise visit in Kelowna and it was the best two weeks the mother and daughter had ever spent together.

There was companionship and talk and the start of healing and forgiveness.

They went out to see Titanic at the movie theatre and when the lights went down, her mom had a panic attack.

She said she couldn't be in a dark theatre because it flashed her back to the time when she was 12 and groped by an old man in a movie theatre.

It reminded Charles of the time her stepdad groped her when she was 14 when they went out to see a movie together.

Charles' mom didn't believe her when she told her about the groping.

"Why didn't she believe me?" asked Charles.

"I had so much anger."

Charles characterizes her relationship with her mom as "challenging, but throw in abuse, alcoholism, bad choices and blame and you get Nitanis."

Nitanis is the Cree word for 'my girl'.

Charles and her late mom are both Metis and her mom used to call her 'my girl'.

In fact, it's a pivotal moment in Nitanis when, after her death, Charles' mom visits her daughter in a 'spirit visit'.

"I heard her call 'my girl' and she said she needed me to forgive her and also to forgive myself."

At that point, Charles realized her mom was only human, she was flawed and she tried her best.

It set Charles up to let go of the pain and hatred and learn forgiveness so that she can move on to live the life she wants.

But, before there was forgiveness and healing, Charles had to cut her mom out of her life after a particularly bad phone conversation in October 2012.

By February 2013, her mom had passed away at age 57.

Charles didn't go to the funeral.

And then, the aforementioned 'spirit visit' that convinced Charles to let go.

"Life is too short to hold onto that pain and hatred," she said.

"I had to break the cycle of generational trauma."

Last year, Charles was diagnosed with stage-4 colon cancer that has since spread to her liver.

She's currently undergoing chemotherapy, but has a positive outlook.

"This won't be the thing that gets me," she said.

"I'm blessed to be living the life I want to now (free of generational trauma)."

Charles' return to Kelowna for the book signing reminds her that the city is a "magical place" and a "gateway to new beginnings".

"When I was in Kelowna I met the man who would become my husband and we've been together 25 years and have a daughter who is going to UBCO," she said.

"I did move back to Edmonton and it started me on my healing journey, although it took years."

Charles is fitting in a mini-book signing tour between chemotherapy treatments, with signings planned for Edmonton in May and Victoria, Vancouver and Winnipeg in the summer.